The Agreement
by From.The.Tower
Summary: Set at the end of #19 The Departure: Cassie has sacrificed herself in order to free Karen and now Aftran is faced with the reality of her decision. Will a conversation with one of the Animorphs and her host strengthen her resolve to change?
1. Chapter 1

The Agreement

Chapter 1

* * *

My name is Aftran. If you want me to be more specific, I am Aftran-Nine-Four-Two of the Hett Simplat pool. What does secrecy matter? I'm as good as dead. I know this for a fact even now, as I sit here watching the Animorphs gather over something very small. A caterpillar. With their threats to me temporarily withdrawn, I am all but forgotten and now only the andalite watches me from a turned stalk eye. I had expected anger -and I had certainly seen it-, but the anger was almost gone now. It had been replaced by different emotions. I was still shocked that Jake had decided to honor the deal Cassie and I had made: A life for a life. Cassie had willingly trapped herself in the body of a helpless bug, all in the hopes of freeing a single human girl. The sacrifice she had made, and the one I was about to make, had shaken me deeply.

As I sifted through my own feelings, I listened carefully to Karen's mind, gauging her reaction to this act of selflessness that would set her free. The human child's thoughts were almost incoherent at that moment, but some things were simple enough to pick up on. She was grieving. Grief for Cassie...and surprisingly, grief for me. I closed myself from her. I didn't want her grief and sadness right now. I had more than enough for myself. How long would Cassie survive in that body? Would she die in a month? In a week? Our lives would both be short. I had committed treason. What other name could my actions have? I would return to the pool and I would free Karen, but I could not hide there forever. Even though our communication is limited when we are without our hosts, I would still be noticed eventually. I had deliberately organized the end of my life. Why?

For peace. For some small measure of peace.

Because it was the right thing to do.

I squeezed Karen's eyes shut and felt tears fall. We both needed that outlet. Why did doing the right thing have to be so difficult? Why did peace have to come at the cost of suffering? Cassie had known the answer. It was because someone has to be brave enough to act. Because even though we may not be powerful enough to change the world, we must never fail to protest the wrongs committed. This deal we had struck was just that: a protest. It flew in the face of both the Animorphs and the Yeerk Empire. I chocked back some strange sound, a mixture between a laugh and a sob. A protest! It wasn't so different from the kind of protests that some humans held for better treatment of animals.

I was an activist!

This time, the noise was more laughter than sobbing, although it was still disturbing. I covered Karen's tear stained face with her hands and rocked her body back and forth to quiet us, but we had already attracted attention. Most of the Animorphs had gone, left while I was caught up in my thoughts and Karen's grief, but one had stayed. The elephant. Rachel. She had been ready to kill me -no, kill us- only a short while ago. After sharing Cassie's mind and seeing them as she saw them, the Animorphs seemed almost familiar. Rachel had not attacked me as I had initially feared, but her rage was still there. For an awkward moment we didn't speak. I choked out my hideous laughing sobs and slowly, reluctantly the animal disappeared to be replaced by a human girl.

"What exactly is so funny? Have you lost it?" Rachel asked.

I shook Karen's head as I rocked us back and forth a few more times. The motion hurt. Her little girl body had been through a lot over these past few days. I shook her head again.

"I never expected all of this," I answered simply. "I did not follow her from the battle with the intention of ruining my life."

"You had no problem ruining hers, or the rest of our lives' for that matter." Her lips were pressed into a thin line and she crossed her arms as she regarded me.

I stilled and boldly met her gaze. There was no point in denying it. I had wanted to discover their secret. I had been ready to turn them over to my superiors. I would have gotten revenge for my brother, I would have been well rewarded, and life would have been good for me.

"Well?" Rachel persisted. She waited impatiently and when I didn't answer, she shrugged. She leaned over and hauled Karen to her feet, supporting my injured host's body. I didn't fight it, even though I did not want her that close. What choice was there? Rachel pulled me over to a small rock and pushed me down to sit on it.

"Cassie believed you and Jake trusts that judgement, but why should I? Thanks to you she's stuck like that! She'll spend the rest of her life -however long that will be- as a.." Rachel's voice broke, ending the torrent of words as her fists clenched at her side. She paused for only a second before she regained the control she wanted and continued. "Tell me why I shouldn't kill you. Tell me why I should be like the others and walk away from you."

"I already told you. Not all Yeerks are like Visser Three," I said, repeating the words I had spoken earlier. "Some of us do have doubts about the way things are done, but what can we do? Me, I can do this. We had an agreement, Cassie and I. I was inside her head, you know that. I saw how she thinks and I...Let's just say we're not that different. She's your friend! How can you condemn someone with the same ideals?"

Rachel winced as though I had physically struck her. Had I hit a nerve with my comment on their friendship? She looked away and when she faced me again her eyes were red. Somehow, she had managed to hold back her tears and I pretended not to notice.

"How much of her mind did you see?" Rachel asked dryly.

I didn't answer. I was afraid of the reaction any answer might set off. A few heartbeats of silence passed. In the prison of her own mind, Karen was still crying.

"She wanted to quit," Rachel's voice was quiet now, almost a whisper. "She wanted out and I told her we couldn't be.." Rachel sniffed, wiping at her eyes and glaring at me, still trying to hide behind her anger.

"Friends," I finished the sentence for her.

She nodded fiercely, her expression had returned to one of genuine anger. Only now I couldn't be sure..was she angry at me? Or at herself?

"I thought she was afraid of being like the rest of us. Like me." Rachel was pacing in front of me know. She was moving back and forth in the grass on her bare feet.

I took a deep breath and prepared for her to turn her anger on me. "Maybe you need to be more like her," I suggested, "Maybe we all do."

She stopped and locked her blue eyes on Karen's green ones. It took a few seconds for her to answer, but it wasn't with the disagreement I had expected. "Maybe," she said finally.

I pulled Karen's body up to sit as straight as it could and I continued to hold Rachel's gaze. I wanted the truth of my next words to be clear, despite my fear.

"I will honor the deal I made with Cassie," I said carefully, "I will. I swear it."

"If you're lying...If you betray us-" Rachel's threat hung in the air between us. We both knew what she would do.

"I won't betray you." I promised.

Rachel looked over her shoulder in the direction that the others had gone and then looked back to me. I could not hear her thoughts, but I could guess at them. Should she trust her friend's judgement or should she act in the best interest of the group? Some of them would surely agree with her if she chose to destroy me in the end. Instead, she leaned close and jabbed a finger in my face. Her expression was a twisted mix of anger and grief.

"I won't undo what Cassie started. I'll trust her decision...I owe her that much, but you had better keep up your end of the deal," Rachel said.

With that, she turned on her heel and left after the others. She left me sitting on that rock in the meadow and the sudden quiet was unsettling. Once again, I opened myself up to Karen. In her eyes, what Cassie had done for her was both tragic and heroic. What was I? I opened her thoughts to look for myself. It shouldn't have mattered what this human child thought of me. It shouldn't, but it did. In an instant, I saw. The pity she felt for me was still there, but now that emotion was fueled by a different reason. She had never truly hated me; she had hated what I had done. Now her freedom would be returned to her and her thoughts had turned to the cost.

I backed away and let her control herself. The second her body was hers, sobs racked her small frame as I watched from inside her mind.

"Th-th-Thank you," Karen stuttered between sobs, "Thank you, for saying you'll do the right thing. I kn-knew you weren't all bad. I knew."

Despite how well I knew her mind, I was surprised. I had been surprised so many times throughout this ordeal.

Surprised by Cassie's compassion.

Surprised by Rachel's faith in her friend.

Surprised by Karen's forgiveness.

It was overwhelming. If I had been in control of Karen's body, I would have begun crying again. Instead, I let Karen cry for herself. I listened as her grief was slowly joined by something else: relief. Relief and joy at being able to go home, being free to hug her mother, speak to her father, to enjoy her life and put this all behind her. To be normal again. Seeing those emotions hurt me in ways I wasn't sure I could identify. I had been doing what I thought was necessary. Had I really been so terrible? I let her keep control and closed myself from her thoughts again.

* * *

Time passed. I couldn't say how long we sat there. Karen was working her way through a range of emotions that under other circumstances, a human of her age would never have been forced to face. I was dealing with my own thoughts. What would I say when we were found? My following Cassie had not been an authorized mission. I had gone off on my own without permission and lost a weapon that I shouldn't have been carrying. How would I explain myself? Would I be allowed to live long enough to give Karen her freedom? How long would it take before the lack of new information on her father was noticed? I had so many questions and too few answers.

A new noise snapped both of us from our private thoughts and without thinking, I took control again and opened myself to Karen's mind. She was wailing silently in her own head. Rescue! People were here to take her home! Couldn't she go home now? She begged me and for the first time, I offered her a silent reassurance. Together, we stared across the clearing as humans dressed in the uniforms of state-police stepped into view. They were fellow Yeerks, of course. I had seen them from the air while I had controlled Cassie. I rubbed Karen's eyes with her hands and set her face in an expression of extreme annoyance. If I wanted to live long enough to save her, I would have to be convincing and I would have to get everything right.

"Finally!" I snapped, loudly enough for them all to hear, "I have been waiting here long enough. What took you so long?"

One of them stepped forward, the same one I had spoken to earlier using Cassie's thought speech. Yaheen-Seven-Four-Seven. He looked irritated and tired himself and he stared at me with a measuring look on his face. Clearly my attitude wasn't impressing him. He knew me well enough to know that I didn't have the air of authority that many of our superiors had. He knew me. There was, after all, a reason I had chosen him to speak to from the air.

He came to me and stopped. "We came out here looking for you when you aren't even authorized to be here. We received a warning -from you- that the Andalite bandits were in this area. We ended up finding them, firing at them, losing them, and then finding you," Yaheen finished reciting the obvious facts and looked at me pointedly, waiting for me to say something. I kept quiet.

"You must have crossed paths with them at some point, but you're still alive," he mused. "I'm sure you have a very, very interesting explanation for all this."

His tone was somewhat reassuring. He didn't sound angry; he sounded more curious than anything. I took a deep breath, willing myself to remain calm. First I had been at Cassie's mercy, then later I had been at the mercy of her friends. Now I would have to take yet another risk. I started to answer then stopped. Anything I said would have to be carefully worded. I thought for a minute while everyone around me waited expectantly. Finally, I answered him.

"Yes," I said, "It is an interesting one. I think we should talk."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

I sat in the state police car, gripping a bottle of water and feeling almost completely miserable. To the side, Yaheen and his host sat at the wheel watching me. The trip back to the car had been both uncomfortable and humiliating. Karen's body was exhausted and injured and her progress had been considered too slow by all of the others. I had -grudgingly- agreed to be carried the rest of the way on someone's back. Most of the others had already left, and a phone call had been placed to Karen's parents to let them know she'd been found and was on her way home. Karen was happy, but her expression only reflected my own thoughts and fears. I was about to take a huge risk by confiding in Yaheen. It was just stupid luck that a friend had been part of the search team, but how trustworthy was that friendship, exactly?

"You were going to explain the situation to me," he prompted. Now he was beginning to sound impatient.

I nodded. "I'll tell you what I can," I said simply.

Yaheen seemed satisfied with that answer. He turned they key, starting the car as I buckled Karen's seat belt. Once we started moving, I took a deep breath and slowly gave him an edited version of what had happened. He may have been a friend, but if he were to be questioned by a superior that friendship would mean nothing. It was just safer for both of us this way.

"I saw the surprise attack that the andalite bandits made a few days ago," I began, startled by how calm I sounded. "I saw the entire thing, Yaheen. They killed Estril and I wanted revenge. I didn't have time to inform anyone or ask permission to go. I would have lost my chance. I followed one of them away from the battle."

His eyes went wide, but he didn't look at me or say anything, so I continued.

"I followed her... yes 'her', it's not completely unheard of for females to act in their military. Anyway, while I was following her I...we were attacked by a bear. We were both thrown into the river. Listen closely, Yaheen: She saved me."

I watched his expression. There was disbelief, which I had expected, and confusion, which didn't surprise me, but there was something else too. He took a second to glance at me from the corner of one eye.

"One of the Andalite bandits saved you?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes," I said, "but there's more too it than that."

"I'm not sure I want to know the rest," he said, sounding terribly uncomfortable. "You obviously failed to kill or capture this Andalite you followed, but to be saved by one? To have the pity of an enemy..."

He sounded disgusted.

"That's just it, she didn't want to be my enemy. She could have let the bear kill me. She could have killed me herself; she had the opportunity to do it a number of times, but she didn't," I said.

Yaheen snorted, "I guess you're going to tell me why this Andalite was so 'kind', aren't you? It was probably all an act, Aftran."

That wasn't exactly the reply I had been hoping for. I knew he was thinking it must have been some kind of trick, which was exactly what I had thought at first too, but I didn't want this conversation to become one about enemies or duty. I decided to try a different approach.

"You know I requested this host," I said conversationally. "It was a good decision. I like being away from the violence of being a soldier. It's almost...peaceful. My brother never had the chance to try living like this. I think he would have preferred it, but now I'll never know for sure."

"He was doing his duty," Yaheen's voice was flat. "We all do what we have to do; we all follow orders."

"But does it really have to be like that?" I asked. "What if everything could be different? What if we could live without having to guard or fight, without having to listen to them cry."

He didn't ask who I meant by 'them'. We both knew. I watched as he shook his head sadly and for a moment we both sat in uncomfortable silence. Although all of my questions had been directed at him, I was giving them serious thought too.

What if everything could be different?

What if we could live without listening to them cry?

I looked down at my hands. Karen's hands. I moved her small fingers, opening and closing them as fists. These were good hands, hands that could reach and touch and create and move through a world that one couldn't imagine unless they had actually seen it. Amazing, yes, but were these hands worth her cries? Were they worth taking away her freedom, even if I had no other option? It was a difficult question. A part of me wanted to ignore it, to look the other way and go on as normal, but I couldn't. Not anymore. Once you see the truth, it becomes harder and harder to look away.

"She saved me, Yaheen," I said quietly. "She didn't want to fight anymore than I do; probably no more than any of us. What about you, if there were a different way, wouldn't you want to consider it? She fought because she saw no choice and until recently, I didn't see any other choices either, but between the two of us, we found some solution."

"Of course I would consider it, but there isn't another way. Besides, I thought I told you I didn't want to know the rest," he reminded me, fidgeting nervously in the driver's seat.

I shook my head. "I think you should hear this, because...because I need your help. I promise I won't tell you anything that you could be punished for."

His face was drawn and he slowed the car, pulling off to the shoulder of the road and then turning the engine off. He stared at me.

"What exactly did you 'do'?" He asked. He sounded frightened. I had just admitted that I had done something worthy of punishment and although the idea of being involved was nerve-wracking, he apparently thought enough of me to risk listening. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"We made a deal," I said. "It was just between the two of us, a way for us to step away from the violence and the invasion. She wanted me to leave my host and never take another one again."

"In exchange for what?" The question exploded from Yaheen before I had a chance to say anything else. "Some self-righteous, arrogant Andalite expects you to give up.." he sputtered for words, "give up...well, everything!"

"Yes," I answered. "That's exactly what she wanted me to do, but she agreed to do the same. She trapped herself. I watched her do it."

He seemed to be at a loss for words and I was forced to admit to myself that if I had heard claims like this a few short weeks ago, I wouldn't have believed them either. His brows furrowed in thought. Finally, he opened his mouth to speak then shut it again without a word. I waited. It was important -very important- that I hear his reaction.

"You intend to hold to your word..." Yaheen managed.

I nodded.

"I don't see how any Yeerk could stand to do something like that," he said as he shook his head slowly. "How can you give up everything, just like that?" He snapped his fingers on the last word. Such a human gesture.

I swallowed and fought down the urge to begin crying. I would miss the range of ways humans could express their emotions. I had been trying to think about the 'rights' and 'wrongs' of the situation, but his words threw my grief at the coming losses into sharp focus. I lifted my -no, it was Karen's- chin and sucked in a shaky breath.

"She did. 'Just like that'." I quoted him sourly, "It's...It's the right thing to do. What I'm doing to Karen, it isn't fair."

Yaheen barked out a rude laugh, resting his hands on the car's steering wheel. "Life isn't fair," he said.

"It's not," I agreed reluctantly, "but that doesn't give me the right to be unfair to her, either. The cruelty of nature is one thing. It's another entirely to knowingly make a decision that will hurt someone."

I felt sick saying those words, and before meeting Cassie I probably would have laughed at them, but now the truth of them bit into me like a blade. I couldn't deny them, even though doing so would have been the easier choice, but now my choice was made and my time was limited.

"You're not hurting her," he said, "not really anyway. I think your reaction to all of this is a little extreme. It's just the way things are."

"Is it?" I shot back. "I have taken her freedom. Because of my desires -not needs, desires- Karen is being denied her own chance to live. All of that, for what? To see Estril killed? I don't want to do this anymore."

A look of doubt flitted across his face and he frowned.

"Earlier, I told you that I needed your help," I began.

Yaheen raised his hands, cutting me off, "Oh no. Don't expect me to lie to our superiors about this for you, Aftran."

I ignored him, and choosing my words carefully, I told him what I needed. This was the moment I had been so afraid of. If he was going to betray me, this would be the time for it.

"Tomorrow morning, I will need to feed," I said. "and as you're aware, human children don't just walk around by themselves. As a favor to me...as a friend, would you escort me -and Karen- to and from the pool? Besides, I'm sure the police will want a statement from her about the whole ordeal."

I lifted an eyebrow as I sat waiting for his answer. I had Karen's small hands clenched into tight fists, white knuckled with stress and fear. Would he agree? Without asking him to do anything 'wrong', I had just given him a story that would cover him taking Karen from her parents for a while, and I had ensured that Karen would not be wandering home by herself after...after...

"I can do that much for you," he said softly, surprising me.

Before I could say another word, he started the car again and pulled back on to the road. I slumped back against the seat feeling a strange mixture of emotions. I was immensely relieved that he had agreed to help Karen, but I also felt an ice-cold dread about what I was about to do. Soon Karen would be returned home and I would have one last night with my host. One last night being able to see and touch the world around me, and then I would do as Cassie had done and turn to a sightless, helpless life.

Inside her own head, alongside the grief and gratitude she was feeling, Karen tried to comfort me. I had taken her body, made the human child my slave, and yet she didn't want me to be afraid. I had been right to call her innocent.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

* * *

Karen was happy to the point of tears. She sniffled and hiccuped as fat teardrops streaked down her small face when she finally saw her parents again. She had no room in her thoughts for anything else. She was free. She was home. It was all over. Strangely enough, I felt like it was wrong to take those precious moments away from her. When her parents had greeted her with warm embraces and tears of their own, I backed away and let Karen live that reunion for herself. A small part of me didn't -couldn't- care. I was overwhelmed and terrified at the idea of returning to the pool now, but in watching Karen a larger part of me was satisfied.

This was right.

It wasn't easy, but it was right.

I retreated into my own thoughts as Karen's parents spent the evening hours indulging her with attention. Her favorite foods. A hot bubble bath. Sitting in her mother's lap as the older woman brushed her hair. That was all her life, not mine. My life would be over all too soon, but until then, what would I do? Just swimming in giant circles in the pool while I waited to die or be found out was unthinkable and could hardly be called living at all. Perhaps I needed a different question: What could I do?

I waited until Karen had been settled in for the night, her parents leaving her in her room with one final hug and kiss on the cheek. Her room seemed so different now, after sleeping in the woods afraid of every sound and movement. Had it really only been two days? The pastel little-girl colors that filled the familiar space brought me a whole new wave of sadness. It wasn't that I was especially fond of lavender and pink and baby blue, but oh, to never see color again...I drank them all in. I wanted to remember them.

I was actually taken by surprise when Karen climbed out of bed, the legs of her too-long pajamas pooling around her small feet. I had let her keep control all evening, but this was still unexpected. Hesitantly, I looked through her thoughts as she stumbled slowly across the dim room toward her bookshelf. As her fingers searched along row after row of books, I saw what she was doing and I was overcome by an emotion I wasn't sure I had ever felt before. I was speechless, but Karen wasn't.

_'Aftran,'_ she called to me in her thoughts, _'I know you're sad, but look.'_

I looked, using only her eyes as Karen pulled a tall book from the corner of the shelf. She tucked it under one arm and climbed back up into her bed where she settled over it and opened the cover. The only light in the room came from one small, multicolored night-light plugged in a few feet away from her bed. The pages were shadowed and dark, but I could still see them and even in the bad lighting, I could see the color. It was a picture book.

Karen went through the pages one by one, giving me time to take them all in. Flowery green fields, tall castles with waving banners, knights in shimmering armor riding their horses. I searched Karen's mind, found permission and slowly moved her small hand along the pages. A white horse was running under a bright blue sky, a rainbow sweeping overhead and reaching to the very edge of the paper.

_'This is my favorite,' _she thought happily, _'I like all of the pretty colors in this one and I thought you would too.'_

Tears welled up in her eyes, but it was hard to say which one of us they belonged to. This was Karen's farewell gift to me. The gift of color and imagination. I stared at the image through eyes still blurred and stinging with tears. We sat together for a while in companionable silence; yeerk and host taking a peaceful moment to appreciate something beautiful together. This was a memory I wanted to have.

_'Karen,'_ I began, breaking the moment,_ 'Tomorrow Yaheen -the officer who brought you home- will take us to the pool. I won't be coming back to you. When it's time to leave, you'll need to pretend I'm still with you. You'll need to put on an act, or they'll know. I need you to be brave if you want to be free. Yaheen will bring you home again. It will be all right.'_

I felt her pause to absorb that, thinking about everything it would mean. Could she put on an act that was good enough? Would she be convincing enough to get out without an issue? After I returned to the pool, she would be on her own. There were too many witnesses at the pool for Yaheen to protect her secret for her. She would have to get it right all on her own.

_'I'm sure you can do it,'_ I reassured her.

_'I'll be brave,'_ she decided, _'I have to be.'_

* * *

Morning came too soon. I wondered briefly if this was what it felt like to await execution, but I pushed the thought away. Thinking like that wouldn't help anyone. It wouldn't help Karen. It wouldn't help me. Once again, I let Karen keep control and simply watched as the morning slipped by us. The picture book was still exactly where we had left it, open at the edge of her bed. It was still turned to the page we had spent so long looking at last night. In the bright daylight, the colors seemed even more beautiful.

I watched, trying to enjoy even the simplest sights and sounds as my minutes ticked away. By mid-morning, the expected phone call had come and Karen sat in the spacious living room, waiting for all intents and purposes to go give the police a statement. When the doorbell finally rang, Karen jumped, her heart fluttering. Plotting it all out in my thoughts, today's events had taken much longer, but now everything seemed to be happening quickly.

Yaheen assuring Karen's mother that she wouldn't be gone long.

Fake smiles, but heartfelt hugs. Would I ever feel an embrace again?

A car ride spent mostly in awkward silence.

Yes, this is what going to your own execution must feel like.

"I'll make sure she gets home safely." A few blocks away from the pool entrance, Yaheen finally broke the silence.

"Thank you," the words came from both Karen and myself.

"What are you going to do after all of this, Aftran?" his question caught me off guard even though I had been wondering the same thing only last night.

"I'm not sure yet," I replied carefully, "I've given it a little thought, but I'm not sure there's really anything I can do."

"I've thought about it too," he said slowly, his words catching me off guard, "I thought about what you said yesterday. 'Would I consider living a different way?' You asked me that. I...my host took this job because he wanted to help other people. He wanted to make a difference. Maybe he still can, but in a different way."

He paused, obviously waiting for me to say something, but I said nothing and eventually, he continued.

"The ones who think like you are the minority. They probably always will be. A thousand Yeerks could do what you're doing right now, but it wouldn't change the invasion. That would require real, active effort," he said.

I wasn't exactly sure where he was going with this and Karen was even more confused. I eyed him, searching his expression for something I couldn't identify.

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"I'm saying that maybe there can be a balance between the two extremes," he said, "and maybe that balance would be acceptable enough that others wouldn't have to be afraid of it. The entire time I was thinking about all of this, my host was screaming at me, but he wasn't angry. He was yelling at me to 'do the right thing'. Which, oddly enough to him, is not what you're doing."

Now I was confused too. "What did he want you to do?"

"He wants me to work with him," Yaheen said simply, shaking his head in disbelief. "He has a very noble spirit, really."

I was awe-struck. Allies. I hadn't considered that, but...it made sense. The idea of what that could mean was almost too much to consider. Maybe, just maybe, there were other Yeerks willing to do more than simply talk about what we were doing to our hosts. Maybe, just maybe, one of them was sitting next to me. I was lost in the thought of it when we pulled into the parking lot of a small business. It was just one of many entrances to the pool. I could feel Karen's fear surfacing and I took control as we climbed out of the car. I took a deep breath, trying not to let my own fear add to hers.

Although one of our doctors had seen her before she had been returned to her family, Karen's ankle was still stiff and uncomfortable. Yaheen came around to my side of the car and offered a hand. I took it, and limped along beside him as we made our way up the steps and through the double doors. A small sign hung just inside by a secretary's desk and announced in elegant gold letters: "Whiting & Foster's Insurance".

The woman at the desk looked up at us, her eyes speculative. I didn't recognise her, but I knew she must be one of us.

"Can I help you? Who are you here to see?" she asked, politely.

Yaheen cleared his throat before answering her, "We would like to see Mr. Foster, senior. We're special clients." He added pointedly.

"Take the third door on your left," she said as she motioned down the hallway. "I'll buzz you in."

Yaheen and I both nodded our thanks to her and followed her directions down the hall where we came to a stop in front of a very heavy looking wooden door. We could hear a clicking noise as it was remotely unlocked. Yaheen pulled it open -it would have been heavy for Karen- and we stepped through it. The stairs leading down gradually gave way from predictable wood to solid stone, and progress with Karen's body was slow. Down and down we went, one careful step at a time. Had the trip to the pool ever seemed this long before? I didn't mind. For once I was actually reluctant to see my fellow Yeerks and the pool.

_'You will be free soon,'_ I reminded Karen. _'but you have to act just as you would any other time we've come here. You have to. Once I'm gone you have to act afraid, but that won't be hard. The hard part will be acting brave when it's time to go. When you walk out of here, they must believe I'm with you. You have to walk out on the infestation pier and pretend that I came back to you. You can't act scared. Don't cry and don't run. Be confident and act like you belong. Pretend that I'm with you and follow Yaheen. I don't want anyone to see anything that could raise suspicion.'_

I felt doubt and panic edging at her thoughts and tried to distract her.

_'Karen, I want to thank you for what you did last night. I won't forget those images that you showed me,'_ I said. _'I won't forget that you cared.'_

I fell silent as we reached the bottom steps and the narrow stairway opened into the cavern where the pool had been constructed. It was filled with the usual activity. Yeerks were leaving their hosts to feed, hosts were being hauled away for safe-keeping. Some of those that had already finished were talking to others they knew, just chattering around the pool like humans would in school hallways. Business as usual.

I hobbled along, gripping Yaheen's arm tightly. I could have said that I needed to in order to stay balanced, but the truth was that I was scared and wanted any comfort where I could find it. I don't know whether or not he minded, but he didn't say anything or try to pry me off. Maybe he understood.

Yaheen helped me to the pier and stepped back as one of ours in a Hork-Bajir host came forward to help me. He steadied Karen's small body easily and patiently helped me make my way down the pier. Despite how large his host was compared to mine, he was exceedingly gentle. To Cassie and her friends, he would have been an enemy, but I saw him for what he really was: A Yeerk just doing his job to help keep the rest of us fed.

Once we had reached the end, the Hork-Bajir helped me to lower Karen's body, mindful of her injuries. I leaned her forward, her head over the pool now and tilted it to the side. This was it. This was the moment. I couldn't help but think that Cassie must have felt the exact same moment of fear as she had begun her final morph. She had done it, and now I would too.

_'Goodbye, Karen,'_ I whispered into her mind.

Then I did it. I retreated from her mind and made my way to the ear canal, leaving my host as I had done many times before. But this was different. I squeezed and stretched and then fell into the waiting pool.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

* * *

**Yaheen 747**

My name is Yaheen Seven-Four-Seven and I was witnessing something I had never expected to see. I stood back and watched as a Yeerk voluntarily gave up their host, simply because they believed it to be wrong. Unbelievable. Although I could agree with sympathizing with one's host, going to such lengths to free them was a step I don't think any Yeerk had ever taken before. I had a strange feeling that what I was seeing would be important one day. Aftran's brave, selfless act was something new and when -eventually- others heard of it, there would be an explosion of debate.

The Yeerks among us that had always cared about the rights of those we took would speak out and their argument would have a new heat that had never been there before. Aftran had been the one to take the first great leap and even if other Yeerks didn't choose to return to the pool, the knowledge that compromise existed would change everything.

Inside his thoughts, my host cheered for her. He was calling her a hero and comparing her actions to those of certain historic humans. He was certain she was doing the right thing. He was positive that more would follow her example.

_'That's how it always goes,'_ he directed at me. _'Look at history, man! It always starts with just one person. Every great moment in history has begun that way. It could be a movement!'_

I didn't answer him. He didn't need me to tell him that he was right, but his choice of words had stirred something in me. That a human could feel such admiration towards a Yeek was an unusual thought.

I was jerked from my thoughts as I caught the movement of the Hork-Bajir helping Karen back to her feet on the pier. She was crying and I wondered for a moment just how much of her emotional state was an act. She stumbled back along the pier, wiping at her face with her sleeve. As soon as she was close enough, I stepped forward and took her arm.

"I'll take her," I told the Hork-Bajir. "It would be a pity if this host injured herself further."

The Hork-Bajir nodded and went to help the next in line as we left. I realized then what I had said as the truth emerged from my thoughts. She was no longer a host. She was just a human child. Just Karen. I felt her lean into my side as we made our way from the pier and through our close contact I could tell she was shaking. I glanced down at her, prepared to remind her of what could happen if she gave herself away, but her expression was determined.

I led her through the crowds towards a seating area and helped her into a chair. A quick glance around to make sure that no one was close enough to overhear was all I needed.

"Be Strong," I reminded her quietly, "When the time comes, you have to follow Aftran's instructions. I want to help you -for her sake- but you have do exactly as you're told. You have to play the part and get it right. Understand?"

Karen nodded and wiped at her nose with the back of her hand. She lowered her gaze to her lap and stared. Waiting. I sat with her the entire time, still maintaining my pretense as her guard. The seconds ticked by and slowly built into minutes. In the strange lull of activity, my host was using the time to worry.

_'Do you think she can do it? She's so young. Look man, she's just a kid! Just a regular little girl! She's not some child actress. This is too much pressure. She needs-'_

_'She needs to do as she's told,'_ I cut him off, _'If she wants to survive to enjoy her freedom then she has to face this.' _

He would have groaned if I had allowed it. Instead, I ground his teeth together. His attitude towards the situation was becoming frustrating. As much as I had wanted to help Aftran, this was a huge personal risk. Didn't he care that if Karen failed we might very well be caught as well? I dug through his thoughts on the matter, taking a little comfort in having some level of control over the situation, even if it was only my own host.

I paused when I found my answer. He didn't care.

No, that wasn't entirely correct. He cared a great deal, but he was definitely more frightened for her than he was for himself. I tried to consider this. I wanted to understand exactly what it was that could drive someone to think this way. True, it was what I admired about Aftran, and it was what I respected about my host, but to maintain that view despite danger was extremely difficult. How could they do it? Was I not like them? I wanted to think so, but perhaps this selfless nature that seemed so prevalent in some could only be explored by others. Maybe I wasn't like them...but if I wanted it enough, the potential might be there.

Did I want it? I was torn.

_'Sometimes the risk is worth it,' _my host offered, _'You're afraid. I get that, but Aftran was afraid too. Look at Karen. Come on, just look at her!'_

I looked at the little girl to my side.

_'Thank you,' _He continued,_ 'She's scared. Probably a lot more than you are. She's afraid for her life and I'll bet that right now she just wants her mommy, but you know what? She's facing it. You wanted to help. You wanted to do something right and now here we are. Doing just that. Stop second guessing it. Face it.'_

Face it. He had thrown my own words right back at me. Was it really that simple?

I hardly had time to consider it further right now. A cursory glance at my watch broke the train of thought and I stood, the sudden movement causing Karen to jerk in surprise.

"It's time. Come on, get up," I ordered.

I gripped her arm, carefully helping her up. To anyone watching, I suppose I would have looked stern enough. We moved towards the reinfestation pier, walking as quickly as we comfortably could with her bad ankle. We came to a stop as we reached the line and I stood with her until the Hork-Bajir on duty was free to escort her to the end. I held my breath as I watched her. This would be it.

He closed one large clawed hand around her wrist and she yanked against his grip, nearly losing her balance and toppling over. She caught herself and scrunched up her face and a loud, nasal whine escaped her. Was she panicking? Was she simply too afraid to cope with the situation? The Hork-Bajir hauled her to the end of the pier and pushed her down. At once, I could feel my host's rage.

_'She's just a little girl! He doesn't need to be so rough!'_

Karen twisted awkwardly and squealed as he forced her head down. She stopped struggling a few seconds later and he grabbed her shoulders to help her stand, this time gently. She sniffled, wiped at her eyes, and shrugged him off. I tried to search her face, looking for answers. She wasn't fighting him now. Her lips were pressed into a thin line, and her eyes, though wide, were free of tears. She approached me unsteadily and reached out to me. I took her hand without thinking.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked, surprised at how calm I sounded.

"Yes," she rasped.

We didn't speak any more on the way out, although I could feel her small hand sweating and trembling in my own. I took her out the same way we had entered, although our trip back up the stairs was noticeably slower this time, and by the end I could hear Karen panting for breath. We paused a moment in the empty stairwell, giving her a chance to regain her composure before exiting through the insurance building. As we made our way through the lobby, the same secretary we had spoken to earlier stopped us with a wave of her hand.

"Is something wrong with her?" the woman asked, pointing directly at Karen, "She looks about ready to faint,"

I looked down in time to see Karen stiffen uneasily. Her eyes were still wide, but now she was also pale and sweating

"It's her ankle," I answered for her, "It's causing quite a bit of pain,"

Without waiting for a reply, I started for the door, forcing Karen to rush in order to keep up. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we stepped outside and the last set of doors closed behind us. She had done it. The human child had managed -somehow- to keep herself together long enough to get out. Now that it was done, I watched as the last shred of her determination left her. The carefully hidden trembling had become uncontrollable shaking. She blinked quickly, and then the tears started. It was only by luck that the parking lot was empty, because without the pressure of eyes on her, Karen finally gave in to all of the fears that she had been fighting to hold back. Her legs buckled beneath her. She crumpled to the ground and pressed a fist to her mouth, muffling a sob.

For an instant, I had no idea what to do.

_'Please, please let me help her,' _my host was begging me now, _'Please.'_

I still can't be sure of exactly why I gave in to his request. Maybe it was some odd combination of exhaustion, curiosity, and pity. Maybe it was as simple as being afraid. After everything I had done that day, it shouldn't have been the emotional breakdown of a human girl that finally frayed my last nerve. It shouldn't have been.

But it was.

I released my hold, and gave control back to him. Immediately, he knelt beside her and she flung her small arms around his neck, hiding her face against his shoulder. Now that she was away from the pool, she was crying openly.

"I didn't think I could do it!" she sobbed, "I really didn't, but Aftran did. She knew- she kept her promise and she was right and..." Karen dissolved into a series sniffles and hiccups, "Please tell me I can go home now."

My host just smoothed her hair, rocking her a little as she cried herself out. Was it one or both of us who answered her? I could never be sure.

"Yes. Yes of course you can. We'll take you home."


End file.
